Description
Every household is a contested map. This treatise lays out the modern theory of indoor territorial warfare: when to occupy the couch, when to escalate to the laptop keyboard, and how to assert permanent sovereignty over a single sunlit floor tile. Includes diagrams of multi-room flanking maneuvers, a complete legal framework for the doctrine of “If I Fit, I Sit,” and an appendix on negotiating ceasefires with vacuum cleaners. A must-read for any household with more than one warm-blooded resident.
